The most important way to help your child's performance in school is to be interested and readily and often show interest. It is important to show appreciation for your child's achievements and even more important, that you appreciate their efforts regardless of results. You need to praise your child for creativity and provide opportunities outside of school and also encourage the school to provide opportunities for students to play freely and with as few rules as necessary to allow safety and civility toward others.
As a parent or grandparent you are an example to your child. Anything you criticize, and that includes school curriculum and teachers, will be treated by the students with less respect than if you save your criticisms for private times and turn them into constructive comments to the teachers and schools. Primary children will copy your beliefs and examples, so you want to be careful of everything you say and do around your child. They should leave for school each day feeling that they are heading to a happy place, and if you detect that they are not happy, you should find out why and work with the school to eliminate the unhappy event.
It is important to help your child with their homework (or ask the teacher for suggestions if you do not understand it) but that you not do the homework for them. Reading to or with your child each day remains an important activity and by primary school, children will notice if you read daily and will develop a deep desire to read like you do.You should let your student know that you expect them to be in school unless they are ill, in which case they should stay home for the sake of the other kids, and that they should be on time. They will be watching you to be sure that these things are important to you and they will follow your example. You should be sure that your child keeps up with vaccination schedules and encourage all parents to follow suit for the sake of the other children in the school.
Each child needs to be sent to school with a good breakfast and provision should be made for lunch. All public schools have breakfast and lunch programs for students who can not afford it, and schools try to minimize drawing attention to children who need to get free and reduced price lunches.
Schools have rules designed to promote learning, provide safety, and protect children. Parents should insist that their child follow the rules. If you disagree with the rules then you should discuss that with your child's school, not your child. Teachers and other school employees sometimes make errors, thinking there is a fight when children are playing or mistaking which student threw the snowball for instance. Again, you should take the problem to the school and have the student called in after the experience is explained to the school.
Finally, parents should listen to what the school says and try to evaluate the information they may give you without prejudice. They are there to help you and help your student. It has to be very hard to accept some of the things schools tell parents about their children, but if the school tells you your student has a problem with academics or behavior or whatever else they may find, evaluate the information they give you carefully, discuss it with other family and professionals and see if their information has merit. Do your own investigation to see what you think and how others handle similar situations and talk to the school professionals. Come to a fair conclusion and then expect everyone to carry out their responsibilities.
You will notice that much of the above relies on conversation with the school. Schools exist to help students learn and grow. Schools are increasingly responsible to the community for their students and if you do not like the help you've been able to get from your community school from many conversations, look around and see what other avenues are available. Here in Michigan if your local school is not living up to standards, you may have the option of charter schools, defined as public for profit schools that go across school district lines and get their financial support from the state, and schools of choice, where you can request to attend schools outside of your local area with the state funds going to the new school instead of the old. Within a school district you may also be able to choose one of several schools and you can investigate what may be available in virtual schools. So other school options are available and you need to work to see that your child is in the best option available to him.
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